I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
