I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
