But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
