their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
