Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
