so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
