I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
ugly people sure do ruin things
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
