They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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