we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
