my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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