Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I love you. Go after that dick
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
