he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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