Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
