Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
