It's like God shit irony all over that family
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
