he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
