You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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