That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
