I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
