Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am available for nakedness
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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