My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
