are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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