69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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