I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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