smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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