Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
dude. I can hear the air.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
