Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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