I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
