that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
