giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
