I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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