we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
