Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
