My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
