So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
