i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
