I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
