I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Your dad touched me again.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
