Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Send help, water and tortillas.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
