I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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