After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
