all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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