I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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