I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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