I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We are two peas in an std pod
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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