sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
