So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
