everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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