Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
