WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
