You really coming over, don't trick.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
