So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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