he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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