I didn't shave. On purpose
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you will always have a special place in my vag
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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