woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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